The Humor of Falling Apart

Today Phil was working on his computer in the garage and I had stepped out there to do some laundry.  I heard him mumble something to me, so I gave my standard reply, "I can't hear you!"

Instead of repeating himself, he broke out in a belly laugh.  Finally he told me he had said that he can't read a thing on his computer anymore and found it quite humorous that I could not hear him tell me he can't see.

We make such a great couple!

My Ear is Pissed

I am now 10 (!) days without vertigo.  New record since November 16th.

I wish I could say I have been feeling great these past ten day, but my ear is angry and not going down without a fight.  I am not complaining, mind you.  I have not missed a day of work or of life, and I am utterly grateful for the fact that I am vertical everyday, but all of my other symptoms have been raging.

My head is in a constant fog.  I have had varying degrees of pressure deep in my ear which only today seems to be letting up.  And the ringing: a loud, constant buzzing which interferes with any good hearing I have in my good ear.  This week has been the mother of all attacks minus the vertigo.  And I am FUNCTIONING through it all.  So take that, bastard!

I have been through this before and it did get better.  And, honestly, if it doesn't this time, that is okay, too.  But I will continue to beat the vertigo into submission every time it even thinks of rearing its ugly head.  It will not win.  Though we may both look like a haggard and bloodied Rocky Balboa in the end.

Doctor's Appointment: Post-Gentamicin, Round II

Yesterday was my 4-week follow-up appointment since my last gent injection.  As I last posted, my ear was acting up the day before and it continued to buzz, feel full, and, as my hearing test showed, be pretty much deaf throughout the day yesterday.  But still no vertigo.

Feelin' Funky, Funky

Head's full of marshmallows
Ear's buzzing a like a bee
Where this will all lead
I will have to wait and see

I'm a poet and didn't know it...

Another Good Day

It has been 7 days since my last vertigo attack, minus a mini attack a few nights ago.  But those happened to me a few times after the first gent worked, so I am not concerned and actually relieved that something is starting to feel familiar again.

Is it really working this time???

The gent, I mean. 

It's been 3 weeks and 4 days since my last shot which can be the typical window in which the effects are likely to take hold.  So there's a little personal experience and scientfic evidence behind my optimism here.  Thanks also to a fellow MMer who got me past the 2-week point when I was still getting vertigo for telling me she didn't feel anything until 3 weeks post-shot.  You know who you are and thanks for the encouragement!

Yesterday my ear started buzzing a bit and continually ramped up throughout the day.  By bedtime I was feeling those off-kilter feelings that precede a full-blown vertigo attack.  So I took 2 mg of Valium, which historically has never prevented an attack for me, it just takes the edge off and I always have to take more once the spins really start up.  But I fell asleep, slept through the night, and woke up with that sloshy, water-in-the-ear feeling that always follows an attack.

I think the gent is working.  I REALLY hope I am not jinxing myself, but I am feeling giddy.

Coping

I am not a religious person in the sense that I go to church.  I was raised Catholic, however, and have attended services of many other Christian denominations in my early twenties.  But organized religion ruined spirituality for me for many years for reasons that are not pertinent to this post.  However, I have always been interested in world religions and through reading about and studying them, I found that many of their basic tenets overlapped with each other.  Over time it proved to me that there is something larger than all of us.  Despite my black-and-white scientific way of looking at all things, I am able to just accept that; but I don't necessarily try to understand who, or what, it is.  I think that's what many call faith.  And today I am spiritual, I do believe in God.

All My Money's On Gentamicin

I promised to write about all the treatments I have tried over the last two years.  There are several.  None work for everyone, but all work for some.  My favorite treatment option to date is gentamicin.  Warning: sorry, but this is a long post…

Fast Forward to Today

So here's where I jump in and start writing about where I am now, today.

My Theory

If you are unacquainted with Meniere's Disease (MM), then start here.

If one buys into this theory that MM is a disorder of inner ear fluid balance which can be affected by dietary sodium intake, and I do for now for lack of a better explanation, then here is what I have concluded happened to me:

Growing Up at 40

On June 10th, 2009 I was at the end of my 40th year.

It was the date I saw Dr. Harris for the first time and he confirmed I had Meniere's Disease.

  I left his office with a prescription for a diuretic.  It was the first real prescription I had ever had beyond birth control pills.  Aren't "water pills" only for old people with high blood pressure?

Today is the First Day of the Rest of Your Life: April 1, 2009

I awoke that morning like any other, stood up to walk to the bathroom and immediately did a one eighty back to bed.  OMG!  The room was spinning and so, once back in bed, I laid perfectly still, eyes closed, and began to feel panicked.  After a little while, I surmised I had a hangover and began to relax.  And get angry.

The Day Before All Hell Broke Loose

March 31st, 2009, was a turning point for two reasons: it was the last day of my life as I knew it without Meniere's Disease and
 the first day of my life to find what would become the first home we would come to own.