Coping

I am not a religious person in the sense that I go to church.  I was raised Catholic, however, and have attended services of many other Christian denominations in my early twenties.  But organized religion ruined spirituality for me for many years for reasons that are not pertinent to this post.  However, I have always been interested in world religions and through reading about and studying them, I found that many of their basic tenets overlapped with each other.  Over time it proved to me that there is something larger than all of us.  Despite my black-and-white scientific way of looking at all things, I am able to just accept that; but I don't necessarily try to understand who, or what, it is.  I think that's what many call faith.  And today I am spiritual, I do believe in God.


Whether facing MM, or any other life-changing event, we usually ask ourselves, “Why me?”  And, “What if?”  And, “How do I…?”  Here is what I have concluded:

Why me?  “That ye may be the children of your Father which is in heaven: for he maketh his sun to rise on the evil and on the good, and sendeth rain on the just and on the unjust.”  Matthew 5:45 

From working with sick and dying people everyday, I know that bad things happen to good people.  I ask myself, instead, “Why not me?”  I am grateful for the soft bed I have to lay in while my world spins, the family who comes to my side to care for me, the healthcare I have access to, the fact that all my basic needs are met, and I am not suffering under the hot sun in a third world country.

What if?  “All there ever is is just this moment.”  The Power of Now, Eckhart Tolle

I have no control over the “what ifs.”  Yes, I give them some thought, put a tentative plan in place in my mind, then I try to let it go.  I have to work on this one quite a bit still.  But I have what I have, good and bad, in this moment.  When I focus on this very second, all worries about the future and slights from the past do not exist and I am free, at peace.

"For there is nothing either good or bad, but thinking makes it so." Hamlet

How do I?  Here I am talking about accepting all the imperfections of life, including MM.  From the most basic tenet of Buddhism: suffering is the result of wanting things to be different than they are.  And from a translation of The Tao, “Perfection is the willingness to be imperfect.”  I have internalized these and both have brought me to a place of acceptance.

So that’s how I cope.