Whether facing MM, or any other life-changing event, we usually ask ourselves, “Why me?” And, “What if?” And, “How do I…?” Here is what I have concluded:
Why me? “That ye may be the children of your Father which is in heaven: for he maketh his sun to rise on the evil and on the good, and sendeth rain on the just and on the unjust.” Matthew 5:45
From working with sick and dying people everyday, I know that bad things happen to good people. I ask myself, instead, “Why not me?” I am grateful for the soft bed I have to lay in while my world spins, the family who comes to my side to care for me, the healthcare I have access to, the fact that all my basic needs are met, and I am not suffering under the hot sun in a third world country.
What if? “All there ever is is just this moment.” The Power of Now, Eckhart Tolle
I have no control over the “what ifs.” Yes, I give them some thought, put a tentative plan in place in my mind, then I try to let it go. I have to work on this one quite a bit still. But I have what I have, good and bad, in this moment. When I focus on this very second, all worries about the future and slights from the past do not exist and I am free, at peace.
"For there is nothing either good or bad, but thinking makes it so." Hamlet
How do I? Here I am talking about accepting all the imperfections of life, including MM. From the most basic tenet of Buddhism: suffering is the result of wanting things to be different than they are. And from a translation of The Tao, “Perfection is the willingness to be imperfect.” I have internalized these and both have brought me to a place of acceptance.
So that’s how I cope.