Fast Forward to Today

So here's where I jump in and start writing about where I am now, today.

Today's a good day.  Actually four days in a row and I don't feel an attack coming on yet.  The cycle is, at minimum, changing since my most recent gent shot.  At best, I usually get one or two days of feeling 95% normal before the cycle of ear pressure, tinnitus, and a general foggy-headed feeling build up to another brutal attack of vertigo.

In all fairness, everyday is a good day.  I have been learning how to cope with the cycle.  I have plenty of support lined up to get kids where they need to go and my employer is amazingly supportive and flexible.  And my husband, well he is a saint, and always rises to the occasion without contributing one ounce the the guilt I feel when I miss time with him and the kids.

The two hardest things I deal with  now are not being able to plan ahead, especially when it comes to planning playdates or other commitments that come with being a mother, and the short-term memory loss I have when I am foggy-headed.  So much energy just to get through simple tasks on some days.  And if I happen to be at work, I feel like I have to double check every calculation I do and often get home at the end of the day and wish I had told someone something that didn't even occur to me at the time.

But, oh well.  The reality is that the people I care for through my work are in far worse shape than I in most cases, so I am humbled by their courage and tenacity despite that many are bedbound 24-7, are looking death straight in the eye, or just plain suffering from chronic pain.  It really helps me keep MM in perspective.